Archive for the ‘ Random-ness-icity ’ Category

Things I Want in the Next Month or So

Shadows of the Damned.
NHL 12.

BlazBlue: Continuum Shift

Another Playstation Move controller.
A Playstation Navigation Controller.
Another box to store games in.
New shoes.
PJ Harvey’s Let England Shake on Vinyl.
Fast Five on Blu-Ray.
The riots in England to cease.
Playstation Plus year subscription.
My goddamn CM Punk shirt.

Transformers 3 on Blu-Ray

Awesome vegetarian cooking skillz

Time Crisis for PS3

My testicles.

That’s about it.

Things I Want in the Next Month or So.

Shadows of the Damned.
NHL 12.

BlazBlue: Continuum Shift

Another Playstation Move controller.
A Playstation Navigation Controller.
Another box to store games in.
New shoes.
PJ Harvey’s Let England Shake on Vinyl.
Fast Five on Blu-Ray.
The riots in England to cease.
Playstation Plus year subscription.
My goddamn CM Punk shirt.

That’s about it.

I Finished Duke Nukem Forever about a week ago and…

What do you think needs to happen for the WWE to get good again?

I was asked this question on my Formspring yesterday, and I proceeded to write a long, detailed list on how to get WWE on the right track again. Here’s that list. You’re welcome. Also, it’s long. If I haven’t mentioned how long this post is, let me warn you again: it’s pretty long.

The WWE can be good if they keep their focus on the in-ring product (from August until around December, WWE’s shows were fantastic), but sometimes they get too involved with lowbrow, childish humor & pandering to the (admittedly young) audience. Straight up, here’s what they need to do.

1. Focus on the wrestling- Yeah, I know they’re an “entertainment” brand now, but the in-ring product has glimpses of brilliance here and there when given the chance. People like Daniel Bryan, Christian (I’ll get back to him later), Punk, Sin Cara, Ziggler, Swagger, Del Rio, Kofi- they can all bring it in the ring. Yeah, we know about Cena’s 5 moves of doom, but play to his strengths more, have him learn a couple more moves. Orton needs to change up his repertoire; he’s becoming as predictable as Cena at this point. Also, if given the chance, the Divas can impress. Beth, Melina (who’s still a bit rough), Nattie, & Gail are great talents, Kelly Kelly & Layla (as well as most of the female roster) are improving, and Kharma Kong’s a great new asset to the team who’s over as hell already. We all know that 1:30 matches are a waste of Divas’ time as well as ours. Go hard or go home.

2. Make some new feuds & give other wrestlers the spotlight.- So Ziggler & Swagger don’t have great mic skills. That’s why you have Vickie & Michael Cole there for. They’ll give them the heat that they need, while the wrestlers will do what they do best. Although I’m not a huge fan, Morrison could make a solid contender, as can Bryan. I’m sick of seeing Cena, Orton, Miz & Sheamus being the only constants in the title picture. I don’t mind any of them, but give it a break already.I can say that I like what they’re doing with R-Truth’s character. He’ll be a solid mid-card threat, perfect for when Morrison & others are out of the title picture.

Also, fucking Christian dude. I mean…fuck. He’s over as fuck. He’s just about the best wrestler on the roster. He’s fantastic on the mic, he’s a great, smarmy face as well as an asshole, cocky heel. He’s got Edge’s approval, as well as the entire roster backing him. The Rock even pre-approved him. I mean, come on! What the fuck WWE?

3. Drop the brand extension & unify the belts- There should be four titles total: WWE, Intercontinental, Diva & Tag Team. Also, as of late, no one’s taking the extension seriously- Del Rio was on Raw for about 2 months consecutively before he was traded, as was Ziggler, LayCool and a multitude of others.

4. Tag Team Division perhaps?- Make the titles relevant again. I know people complain about just “throwing teams together”, but whatever. You have no built in teams anymore, so just create some. I’ll even help.

Chavo & Sin Cara: this’ll give Chavo something to do besides jobbing on Superstars, plus Sin Cara won’t have to carry a match on his own.

Zack Ryder & Santino- Ultimate comedy team, it’ll put Ryder over with the fans, they’re both solid (in Santino’s case, solid enough) in the ring, plus imagine the skits between them. I’d love to see Santino tan, with a popped collar & spiked hair.

Kofi & Evan Bourne- two solid high-flyers who are just different enough to stand out from the pack

Bryan & Yoshi- could be a comedy team (especially if Yoshi’s mannerisms are lost in translation), but they’re both solid enough workers to look like a legit threat to the division.

Rhodes & Dibiase- fucking duh.

Brodus Clay & Mark Henry- because we need that prerequisite “huge overwhelming threat” team in the division.

5. Bring in more wrestlers- Um…where’s AJ Lee? Seth Rollins? Jon Moxley?

6. PUT THE FUCKING BELT ON CHRISTIAN FOR FUCKS SAKE

Think that’s enough. Looks like this’ll be an impromptu blog post now.

And look at that, it was an impromptu blog post.

The Naked Cartoon Podcast- The Podcast!

So a couple people from Giant Bomb and I messed around on a lazy Saturday and ended up recording a podcast. 30 minutes of awkward silences and video game talk. It’s as enthralling as it sounds, so give it a listen, will ya?

The Naked Cartoon Podcast Episode 1

Duck & Cover- The Greatest Fake Film Never Made

This might possibly be one of my most stupid, pointless blog posts ever, and I’ve done stupid, pointless blog posts before.

Anyway, here’s the context. My cousin & I thought of a dumb title for a movie, we would call it Duck & Cover. Somehow it’s caught on within my circle of friends & a couple people online, and I’d figure i would share it with you guys, in an attempt to maybe make this a weird Giant Bomb meme or something. Or even just a nice reminder of how ridiculous I can be sometimes.

So here’s what I’ve got so far. Duck & Cover is a fully-CGI animated buddy cop film (debating whether we want to convert it to 3D or not), starring Samuel L. Jackson as Maxwell Duck, the tough-as-nails, takes no crap officer who happens to be a duck. Zach Galifianakis is his long-time partner Platypus “Platinum” Cover, the odd, bashful, crazy cop who struggles with his true identity- is he a duck? a beaver? an otter? Both are in for the ride of their lives as they uncover a plot to blow up Swan Lake and take hostage the naive Prince Tadpole III, voiced by Christopher Mintz-Plasse (a.k.a. McLovin).

Also starring Robert DeNiro (or if he asks for too much money, myself) as the voice of Lieutenant Herbert “Herb” Frog, who’s signature line “You two are a couple of CROAK-UPS!!!!” will become the catchphrase of the decade.

If you’re awesome enough to reply to this thread, please give me insights as to what ridiculous dialogue we should have, other characters, action sequences, etc. Hell, I’ll even take photoshopped fake posters.

Or you can just reply with your own thoughts on ridiculous video game or movie premises. That’ll work quite well too.

VinceNotVance vs. KFC Double Down Sandwich- This Time, It’s Personal!

In an effort to get more involved with my fellow…users, as well as a way to show my friends that aren’t here with me in college how little I’ve changed, I’ve decided that I’m going to do a LIVE TASTE TEST of the KFC Double Down Sandwich.

What is the Double Down? Check this post out! This is actually the inspiration for this dumb idea- Good job Bombers for talking about dumb stuff like this :p  One last link*: Here’s the Ustream where I’ll be broadcasting from. I’m thinking sometime between 5 & 7pm PST on Friday,April 16th I’ll be doing it.

Let’s try to change this to a decently active discussion, shall we? What’s the most ridiculous food item you’ve ever eaten and most importantly, do you regret it?

(* OK, one last, LAST link. You should probably NOT check out VanceNotVince on Twitter, but he might have a few words to say about this ordeal.)

The Wolfman, like TOTALLY ripped off Twilight, know??

I think you guys know my thoughts about Twilight, but in case you need a reminder, here you go.

I am not here to debate the “merits” of the films or books. Instead I am here to give you the story of a young, naive Twilight fan named Kayla Patterson.
Kayla loves her some Edward Cullen and especially some Jacob Black. After watching her favorite movie, like 100 times, she decided that she should go see this other movie about a werewolf, called The Wolfman. You know, the R-rated update/remake of the 1941 classic starring Lon Chaney.

And when she saw that the titular character was in fact, not the werewolf that she fell in love with, SHE GOT PISSED. So she did what any sane Twilight fan who actually knows about the centuries-old history of “werewolves” would do. She wrote a letter to Universal Studios, the guys responsible for the original film and its remake, not to mention the contemporary An American Werewolf in London which arguably popularized the genre back in the 80s. Here is the letter, in its entirety on Latino Review.

So thank you Kayla for reminding us that the studio that originated and popularized the idea of the “werewolf” was actually ripping off clearly superior source material. Thank you for standing by a hack writer who clearly doesn’t have any original ideas of her own, and for believing that Universal Studios was in the wrong here.
Thank you for reminding us how ignorant you are and how you have somehow, if that’s even possible, given Twilight fans an even worse reputation.

This is the first time I’ve ever said this, but I’m ashamed to be a Twilight fan right now.

Contemplations on the year 2008 by VinceNotVance

Remember when the recession was just a baby, slowly but surely sucking the life force and money from our economy?
Remember Palin, Obama and McCain jokes?
Remember when that one reporter threw his shoes at President Bush?
Remember President Bush?
Remember Michael Phelps?
Remember caring about the Olympics?
Remember when Conan was happily awaiting his eventual rise to Tonight Show host?
Remember when HD-DVD’s were still prominent, if only for a few short months in 2008?
Remember when Chinese Democracy was still relevant?
Remember when Indiana Jones 4 was supposed to be “teh bestest movie evarr!1!1″?
Remember how life was before The Dark Knight was released?
Remember how life was before Twilight was released?
Remember when we had Old Facebook?
Remember when Activision had only released 3 Guitar Hero games, and the series still felt fresh?
Remember Ravi motherfucking Drums?
Remember Grand Theft Auto IV being the biggest game ever that wasn’t a Call of Duty sequel?
Remember when Star Wars: The Force Unleashed was hyped up to be a good game?
Remember all the awesome stuff we were promised when Spore and Fable 2 were released? How they were supposed to be life-changing interactive experiences?
Remember how awesome life was back then?

I do.

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